Monty Python for President!

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Did everyone get their free Sun ‘newspaper’? What a little gem that was for stirring up the passions and reminding us all of who we are! I was always led to believe I was British and I spoke English? Who are the English anyway? They are Danish aren’t they? Coming to think of it, the Saxons are German, The Scottish are Irish and the Normans are Norwegians from France. So what does that make us? According to The Sun “the best thing about being English is not having to wake up in the morning being Belgian or French, imagine that!”

Yeah imagine that! Everyone of us here doesn’t have to go back many generations to see they are probably originally from outside of Britain. People have been coming here since humans walked the planet. In the Neolithic period Aberdeenshire was considered the Monaco of it’s time, the Greeks acyually thought it was a kind of heaven with more than one harvest in a year. What about the Romans? (they gave us something to shit in and beat us 2-1 CHRIS)

So the Sun tells us we invented everything from The Police Force to the Jet Engine. Was that the Roman part of us that invented that or the German part? Was it the Norman part of us that gave the world the concentration camp?

I love my country and having lived in another country and travelled extensivly there is no other place I would rather be. It means I can vote and moan about the weather but does it mean I can have a pop at a Frenchman for being French? I suppose it does! According to The Sun that is what being English is all about too. Great, so proud!

What a load of hatred inciting insensitive jingoistic shameful claptrap that was that came fluttering through my door. And who advertised in it, sponsoring it; ALDI, Mars Bar and SKY.

Hats off to the posties up in the North West who said they wouldn’t deliver anything if they were told to deliver that piece of shit, but where were the rest of you Posties?

Recently I started a little project of taking pictures of various things I find or see cropping up outside my house on my road where I live in Central Nottingham. (I actually live between a £3000 a term private School where politicians Ed Balls, Ken Clarke and Jeff Hoon were educated.)

The slideshow above is a little funny slice of my England (used condoms and condom wrappers and dog shit were too obvious and disgusting to photograph).

One thing us English have always been good at is taking the piss out of ourselves. It doesn’t sit right, this nationalism rammed down our throats. What would Monty Python say?

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8 comments

  1. Probably – ‘Buy your stones here – big ones for the French, little ones for straight between the eyes of the Italians, and rocks for the Germans. Oh, are you for Crucifixion, then?’ haha… Loved this article. much love xx

  2. Spot on!
    I’ve always thought of myself as British but also consider myself to be European (me)…. I support England in the World Cup but I don’t support the jingoistic viewpoint pushed by rags like the sun …
    Living in the north west I was lucky enough not to have one delivered …if I had, straight to my paper recycling box!!
    As for the photos, surprised to see a pair of shoes…why not the usual solitary shoe like the other pic normally discarded on the roadside
    The discarded syringe is unpleasant tho!!
    Shame on all the political mainstream parties for the photos with the sun…desperate attempts to get votes.
    The masses sadly will buy in to that to a degree

    1. Thanks for your comment Richie, life isn’t straightforward is it? Not everything is black and white, not even The Sun. Yeah, quite a few syringes pop up but they tend to put the cap over the spike now befor chucking them – which is very thoughtful. I don’t know why there are two shoes, they were just like that one Sunday morning, I didn’t move them or touch them, they looked kind of elegent and tell their own little story. Was she running for her life or riding her boyfriends back on the way home?

  3. The Sun’s This Is Our England: no mention of phonehacking murdered schoolgirls, scapegoating poor, disabled & immigrants or slandering dead football fans. Send your free copy of the Sun back to where it came from: Freepost The Sun, London, E98 1AX.

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