The Night You Left Me

I pierced my eyelids with a pin
I stapled staples through my skin
Injected petrol with a syringe
That night I did some terrible things.
I threw myself right down the stairs
And went to nightclubs wearing flares.
I tightened G- clamps to my head
And started daily eating lead
I soaked my brains in pints of beer
And jammed a pencil in my ear
I rammed a biro through my palm
And hammered nails into my arm
With a brick I broke my toes
With pound shop pliers I crushed my nose
I tore out my tongue with a pair of mole grips
I removed five digits with rusty tin snips
I was glad to see what I had done
So removed my eyeballs with my remaining thumbs
But before I pledged to take my life
I sat myself upon a knife
Then sliced my tendons with a razor
And placed my balls inside a blender
I hacked my legs off with an axe
And fed my feet to hungry rats
I made a necklace with a rope
And smoked my last Morrocan dope
Then I climbed and leapt from the tree
My life flashed before where my eyes used to be
And as I fell, I woke up in bed
And thought of you and what you said.

Chris Olley 1995

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